It’s all well and good protecting our physical health.  But what about our mental well-being?  Being stuck at home with three children, home schooling two, with one baby AND working from home is making me lose my mind!!!  And I am very strong-minded (by which I mean incredibly stubborn).  I never ask for help unless I absolutely have too and even then, I struggle accepting it.  But right now, I would love to ask someone to take my three cherubs (the noise and mess makers) home with them for the evening.  And why… oh why… did I choose now to quit smoking? My logic was “I’m already stressed, I may as well get all the stressful things out the way at the same time”.   NOT CLEVER.  So now I am hiding away, typing this blog and begging and praying that nobody finds me for a good hour (or day…or week).  Children in lockdown are way less fun, home schooling is a total stress, and there is STILL no end in sight.  When will lockdown end?  When will we be coronavirus-free? When can we return to our normal lives again? 

My crystal ball predicts… bah, it has no predictions anymore, it’s sticking its middle finger up at me and laughing.  

 

Home schooling

So, I was actually quite excited about home schooling… at first.  I always thought I’d love to home school my children (you know if I knew something worth teaching).  But I’ve always sent them to school partly to get a real education and partly to develop social skills.  When I began home schooling I was all into it, I had a reward chart and stickers, we had a routine, I would plan work for the following day and spend my evenings marking work.  And at first, they loved it, they made lots of effort.  But as the months have gone by, and as the schools have started setting what I would consider ‘real’ work’ (as in work that takes longer than 5 minutes to complete), I’ve started seeing a difference in my children.  

My 5-year old is still as engaged and is enjoying it as much (if not more) than she was before, especially now they’ve started doing class meetings online so she gets to see her teachers and friends.  But my 9-year-old, on the other hand, has become slightly more difficult.  She’s frustrated that her sister has such easy work.  She claims an inability to so anything (even things I KNOW she knows how to do).  She slouches around and is more interested in toys and everything else going on around her. Every time I leave the room to do a house job, something for my baby, or just to pee, I come back to find them both messing around, nowhere near their computers!  I ask nicely the first 10 times, but even mama’s only have SO much patience.

 

Children in lockdown

And it’s not just home schooling.  I’m finding my children are getting more and more annoying in other ways too.  Silly ways.  Like eating, for example.  Normally they would have breakfast, a snack, lunch, another snack and dinner… normal right?  Not anymore!  Now they are eating every 3.3 minutes!!!!! From speaking to other moms I have since learned that children in lockdown EAT EVERYTHING!!  They are having two, sometimes three breakfasts, then a snack, then lunch, then a snack, then dinner, then a snack, then supper… and apparently, they’re still freaking hungry!  WTF?!

Don’t even get me started on bedtimes! We used to have a great routine, the kids would be in bed and asleep by 8.30pm and they’d get the hours sleep they should every night.  But that’s gone completely out the window.  They’re up pretty much until I go to bed, then they wake me up in the morning… it’s like they don’t want me to have any kind of break from them at all. They’ve gone from having 11 hours sleep every night to having 11 minutes… or so it feels.  I miss the days when I had SOME time on the evenings to catch up on my writing or house work!  And do you remember those things… what were they called again… oh that’s right, hobbies, yeah I miss those too!

 

When will lockdown end?

So the big question is when will lockdown end? When will we finally be able to send our kids back to school? When will the minds on all parents finally get a break from “can I have?” and “she did this to me?” 

That’s another thing about lockdown, I’ve started using “mom-phrases” I’ve never said before.  I actually told my kids “I don’t care who started it, I’m finishing it”.  And worse… “I don’t care who did what to who, I’m sick of hearing you both now, if you can’t say anything nice don’t say anything at all”… the peace-maker/problem-solver/patient mommy in me is slowly being killed by coronavirus.  What makes this even worse is that this reaction (a reaction unlike my usual reactions) is actually much more placid than what was running through my mind… “shut the f**k up” is what I’ve actually been thinking, for the last year!

I see no end in sight and I think this makes it even harder to deal with.  If I knew in 2 months this would all be over, I could grin and bear it.  The not knowing is making the grinning and bearing so much more difficult. 

 

When we are coronavirus-free…

… I am having some ME time, away from my children, who I love more than life itself, but right now are driving me potty. 

I am going out with my girlfriends, whether that be for breakfast, or cocktails, I don’t care, just somewhere not in my house and not with my kids.

I am going to play my drums (for the first time in months) and whack the crap outta them. 

I am going to make a cup of tea and drink it while its still hot! 

I’m going to go to the bathroom and not face the Spanish inquisition. 

When we are coronavirus-free and I can hear my own thoughts again I am going to sit in a silent room and enjoy the silence.

I just hope when that time comes, I haven’t already lost my mind.   

I’d love to hear your thoughts… please tell me I am not alone!  

 

Take Care, x

 

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